SIXTY

Turning 60.

I wonder if half of my mental issues aren't the fault of a self-fulfilling prophecy?

I have been fretting turning this hallmark number since the second half of the last decade. The saying comes to mind: "You are only as old as you feel." And I hate to say it, but at this very moment in my life, I feel it.

The last year and a half have been tough. Exhausting. It is no excuse. It is difficult to live spritely when I feel like I have the weight of Atlas on my shoulders. Stress of one kind. Stress of another kind. Stresses weighing me down. Difficult to smile. Difficult to be happy. Easy to worry. Easy to scowl. Easy to feel old.

It was in the midst of all this that my 60th year crept in. A year of grieving over.  Already I felt emotionally spent. Add to this, my new-found anxiety. I did not think that I could scrape up any excitement for the day. But, as our own birthdays go, with the focus on "me", the magic was worked. It was a special day. Special presents. A special celebration at Pony - so appropriate for the Year of the Horse. My family surrounding me. I eased into the big number 60 with grace. Family has a way of making me feel special.

Now, after the day, I feel as I did before the day. Yes , I am 60, but I don't feel any different really. Oh, yes, now I could apply for a Seniors and Go Card. Ouch! That makes you feel the big 60! When I received my card in the mail, I wondered why I only got the Seniors Card and not my Queensland Transport card. It wasn't until I turned the card over, that there it was. The Go Card on the reverse. Yup! 60. Now an age when two cards become fused into one with two different faces. What? In case I lose one? This brought a smile to my face. In fact, my daughter and I had a deep bellied laugh over this.

I just need to find more of these instances of humour to carry me through.

Sixty.

Published By: Valdone's Leaf